I Went to Blow Job School, and Here's What I Found Out

 I Went to Blow Job School, and Here's What I Found Out

I don't have a doctorate, and I haven't written the next Great American Novel. I have no desire to train for Tough Mudder or any other variation of the event because running outside is extremely difficult for me. I'm only really good at a few things, but one thing is certain: I do fantastic blow jobs (or so my exes have told me). Having said that, I am a great believer in the value of higher education. So when I was offered the chance to take a blow job class on a lovely Saturday afternoon, I jumped at the chance.

 

StripXpertease, an NYC-based, female-driven firm that aspires to assist women to achieve their utmost level of sexual confidence, offered the 2.5-hour workshop. (Another location is also available in Los Angeles.) StripXpertease, which was founded in 2005, teaches everything from lapdance to dirty talk. StripXpertease most likely has a class for you if you want to improve your sexual IQ.

 

I came late to the StripXpertease headquarters. I had a horrible high school flashback right as I came in: I envisioned the pupils' heads moving to the back of the room, the instructor pausing mid-lesson to look me up and down. However, because this was a blow job class, I pictured a room full of ladies with fake dicks in their mouths, glaring at me mid-suck.

 

Fortunately, when I came into the room, the instructor greeted me with a huge grin. "Welcome, my love!" she exclaimed. The turnout was impressive: about 18 to 20 females met on a Saturday to learn how to swallow. A syllabus outlining the lesson plan was placed in front of each seat. I realized then that this would be no ordinary learning experience (that, plus the fact that all of the desks were strewn with bottles of lube and veiny dildos).

 

Here's what occurred when I attended a blow job class and practiced going down.

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