I Went to Blow Job School, and Here's What I Found Out
I Went to Blow Job School, and Here's What I Found Out
I don't have a doctorate, and I haven't
written the next Great American Novel. I have no desire to train for Tough
Mudder or any other variation of the event because running outside is extremely
difficult for me. I'm only really good at a few things, but one thing is
certain: I do fantastic blow jobs (or so my exes have told me). Having said
that, I am a great believer in the value of higher education. So when I was
offered the chance to take a blow job class on a lovely Saturday afternoon, I
jumped at the chance.
StripXpertease, an NYC-based, female-driven
firm that aspires to assist women to achieve their utmost level of sexual
confidence, offered the 2.5-hour workshop. (Another location is also available
in Los Angeles.) StripXpertease, which was founded in 2005, teaches everything
from lapdance to dirty talk. StripXpertease most likely has a class for you if
you want to improve your sexual IQ.
I came late to the StripXpertease
headquarters. I had a horrible high school flashback right as I came in: I envisioned
the pupils' heads moving to the back of the room, the instructor pausing
mid-lesson to look me up and down. However, because this was a blow job class,
I pictured a room full of ladies with fake dicks in their mouths, glaring at me
mid-suck.
Fortunately, when I came into the room, the
instructor greeted me with a huge grin. "Welcome, my love!" she
exclaimed. The turnout was impressive: about 18 to 20 females met on a Saturday
to learn how to swallow. A syllabus outlining the lesson plan was placed in
front of each seat. I realized then that this would be no ordinary learning
experience (that, plus the fact that all of the desks were strewn with bottles
of lube and veiny dildos).
Here's what occurred when I attended a blow
job class and practiced going down.
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