Is it necessary for me to swallow if I'm giving head?
Is it necessary for me to swallow if I'm giving head?
how do you love oral sex? Men love having their sperm eaten for a
variety of reasons. For some, it is the ultimate expression of acceptance and
acceptance of who they are. "Some men believe that swallowing indicates a
level of passion, acceptance, or even love, whereas spitting indicates
rejection," says Ian Kerner, a sex expert and author of books including
Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man and She Comes
First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.
Others may interpret it as a display of
power. "For other men, it's also a habit associated with a fantasy of
feeling powerful, so some males see swallowing as part of lovemaking, while
others feel it's part of eroticizing a partner during sex," he continues.
Why It Might Not Be Important
While understanding your partner's
preferences and being able to collaborate so that everyone has a fantastic
sexual experience is crucial, the pleasure of receiving oral sex is not
dependent on the swallow. Focusing on the finish overlooks the ability and
expertise required to perform a fantastic blow job, much alone the pleasure it
provides. "Oral sex feels amazing, but swallowing has little to do with
the actual physical pleasure," says Kerner. "The essence of a blowjob
is friction to the head of the penis, pressure to the base, and lubrication to
ease the process, with suction and tongue-work augmenting the friction."
In addition to technique, enthusiasm and
passion are important factors. "The difference between a terrific blow job
and a not-so-great blow job, aside from physical pleasure, is the giver's
psychological posture, namely, does she appear into it?" adds Kerner.
"There are many ways to be into something – sensual, lovely, passionate,
forceful — and guys can detect the difference between honesty and acting."
In other words, you can swallow a river, but
if your technique stinks and you appear horrified, you won't impress anyone.
Showing him you're down with genuine groans and getting into it will go a lot
further than a single gulp.
Explained: TikTok's Viral Above-the-Waist
G-Spot Technique
Alternatives for the Semen-Averse
1. Discuss with your partner what you are
comfortable with.
Tell him what you're okay with and if any circumstances would make you feel differently. "It's
important to communicate your likes and dislikes, as well as to be able to talk
about them and feel like you're both listening and being heard," Kerner
says. "Taking a sexual behavior like swallowing off the table shouldn't be
a deal breaker, especially if a partner enjoys other aspects of oral sex."
"Also, let your partner know if not swallowing lets you really enjoy the
other components of fellatio."
2. Experiment with new techniques.
A high-level method necessitates research. If
you wanted to get an A on a test in school, you studied for it. Getting an A as
a lover is the same. Many people struggle to set their egos aside to
learn about sex and anatomy. "Why should I? I already know how to do a
blow job," you may reason. However, you can always increase your partner's
enjoyment, provide better orgasms, and discover new things. No matter how much
you know about technique, it is best to put your ego aside and approach this
learning process with openness and humility. There is no shame in learning, and
questioning what feels good — and what could feel better — is a terrific
starting point.
Experts Reveal How to Stimulate the Clitoris
3. Dive deep.
Change things up by diving deeper than
normal. Check out some deep-throating ideas and techniques from my column to
give swallowing a whole new meaning.
4. Maintain parity.
Check that oral sex is reciprocal and that one
partner is not performing all of the heavy lifting while the other relaxes.
This can lead to resentment and cause a partner to nitpick and focus on what he
isn't getting (swallowing) rather than what he is.
5. Continue until the orgasm is done.
People without penises frequently stop
blowing mid-orgasm, which can make the experience less enjoyable. Kerner
suggests that if you don't want to swallow, "don't stop providing friction
with your hand until a guy has completed ejaculating."
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