How to Have Sex with Multiple People at the Same Time in a Relaxed Manner

 How to Have Sex with Multiple People at the Same Time in a Relaxed Manner

 


The orgy invitation email appeared in my inbox unexpectedly, addressed directly to Gmail; whoever was in charge of the organization's public relations knew me personally. The subject line was enticing — "This St. Valentine's Day...," it read in the big text — and the email concluded by inviting me to "Come and join us on our voyage down the rabbit hole (or any hole you'd want)." I highlighted the message, allowing it to linger at the top of my priority inbox like a red mouth. After that, I pitched the story to my editor.

 

On the 14th of February, I washed my hair with lavender Dr. Bronner's, painted my toenails poppy-red, shaved my legs and labia while hopping on one foot in my tiny shower, chose a pair of silky underwear, and then carefully rolled on a pair of black thigh highs, which I clipped to a $75 garter belt I bought online my freshman year of college.

 

Then I put on a dress and proceeded to the indicated address, which was enclosed in a second letter and included a phone number. The wind blew up my skirt and moved between my legs in the cold winter air.

 

The book's title, The Bonobo Handshake, comes from the fact that bonobo monkeys greet each other with oral sex, which is actually cunnilingus. This is significantly superior to the human greeting of circular jerking. group Sex At Dawn, a pop-evolutionary psychology book published in 2010, made headlines for comparing human and bonobo sexuality; one of its primary points was that monogamy is against human nature. Birds do it, after all. It's done by bees. Even the trees participate. So, you want to screw? The argument is that our sexual preoccupations are social constructs, and it might be preferable if we followed the lead of bonobos.

 

The sex party was hosted in an apartment, with the host bringing us into a dimly lit living room with candles and a floor lamp set to its lowest level. In case you were wondering, we shook hands like humans, not bonobos.

 

The apartment smelt like incense, with smoke rising in white columns from pillars burning throughout the space. It was considerate of them to us something to make us forget how our bodies smelled while they worked. There was champagne and candy, conversation hearts mixed with boxed chocolates and caramels. Condoms and lubrication were also strewn over the place like sweets. I poured myself a glass of white wine, drank it faster than I should have, and then poured another.

 

I probably knew 10 to 20% of the folks in the room. We lingered with our glasses of wine, talking around the truth because we were all conditioned to think of sex as something shameful and private. We were getting itchy after standing around for what seemed like an eternity, fully clothed, conversing, and introducing ourselves. Occasionally, one of us would massage the other's arm or down the back in a long, smooth gesture. This would turn into a signal later in the night — should we? — but for now, it was merely a reminder of why we had all come.

 

Then, because I'm always the first to do things like this, I pulled off my dress and drew it over my head. Shirts and jeans popped off all around me like a chain reaction, turning the room a fleshier hue of heat. A couple who had arrived as a pair began kissing. A girl in glittery lingerie hung the heart-shaped insert that came with the box of chocolates and put the night's safe word — cacao, after the Portlandia sketch — on it.

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